Sometimes, something unexpected can show you a world you would have never known about. That's why it's important to keep an open mind. The nuances of life are beautiful, and the diversity of the world is what makes it worth living. So the more you try to label everything, the more you diminish the experience of living. Crystal Na Yousuke's rom-com manga Otokonoko Zuma (My Wife Is a Man) understands that sentiment like few others. Giving us an approach to love that ignores what is considered trivial, it explores love in a way most of us would never consider.
Serialized from 2016 to 2020 via Shogakukn's manga website Sunday Webry, Otokonoko Zuma is a short read with 44 chapters, collected into three volumes. But it's one of those reads that will stick in your mind long after you've flipped through the last page. At first glance, one might think that this manga is nothing more than a slapstick comedy about cross-dressing. But like a mountain lake that's too clear, it gives you a false impression of its depth; once you dive in, you realize you're in deep, deep water.
Otokonoko Zuma tells the story of Kou (an ordinary salaryman) and his wife, a beautiful, soft-spoken cross-dresser named Yuki. The story primarily follows a slice-of-life romantic comedy that shows how Kou and Yuki's relationship is perceived by them and the world around them, while also highlighting how society and their friends help and hinder them as they progress through life together.
Episode 1
Why you need to Read Otokonoko Zuma
What is the most important aspect of any piece of entertainment? Is it the art? The story? The production quality? I would argue that it is none of the above. The most important aspect of any piece of entertainment is how it affects you.
And Otokonoko Zuma had such an impact on me that there was a clear distinction between before and after. While the interactions between Kou and Yuki played out in the usual romantic banter of a real couple (think Tonikawa), it was the mutual acceptance and support and openness of those around them that really made me think about how I, as a person, should help and accept those around me.
This is not a story about happy, haphazard integration. Instead, it is a story about people trying to accept others into their lives, even when they don’t completely agree with what they do and who they are. They let the logical part of their minds take over and accept the reality they see, and even when they don’t accept it, they support it. And I can’t tell you how beautiful that sentiment is.
For something so beautiful, we limit love so much. You can’t love this person because “they’re the same sex,” “they’re different,” “their skin color isn’t the same,” “they’re so much older,” or “they’re so much younger.” I’ll die on the hill arguing that everything about those phrases is wrong. Because all they do is rob people of one of the most beautiful emotions they can have. In Otokonoko Zuma, instead of people defaulting to saying that, you see people trying their best to accept and understand a relationship that many people wouldn’t consider kosher. And they do so because they understand how special love is.
For example (and a minor spoiler), in Chapter 4, when one of Kou's friends comes to visit them, he is initially surprised and even uncomfortable to learn that Kou is married to a cross-dresser and not a woman. However, as the evening progresses and he sees the love between the two, he leaves and reflects on it. He does so to the point where he sets aside his preconceived notions of what a “normal” relationship and gender dynamics are and asks himself if he is limiting the joy in his life by adhering to something as trivial as the difference between loving men and not. women.
You don't have to like something to respect it.
The late, great Anthony Bourdain once said, “I don’t have to agree with you to like you or respect you.” That’s something that’s often forgotten in such a polarized world. And in this story, we get a glimpse of what life would be like if we all tried to approach it that way. The side characters in this manga aren’t just pushing the couple or offering words of encouragement; they’re moving mountains for them. They’re open to ideas and lifestyles they might not necessarily agree with. And they do it just to make the people they care about smile: something we should all strive to do.
Is Otokonoko Zuma (My Wife Is a Man) an honest approach to this type of relationship? I don't know, I'm a straight guy and have never had to worry about being shunned even in my dirtiest escapades. So I'm completely unfamiliar with the world of same-sex relationships and cross-dressing. Because of that, I understand that while I find this work beautiful, someone in this exact position might find it disgusting or idealistic to the point of being offensive. However, I do maintain that it promotes acceptance and love in a very accessible way, making it a work I would recommend to everyone.
Sadly, it hasn't been licensed in English yet, so you'll have to rely on your Japanese skills to read it. A preview of three chapters is currently available on Pixiv.
Featured Image: Pixiv
© Crystal na Yousuke, Shogakukan
