In March, I went to see a screening of End of Evangelion. While this isn't the first time I've seen this movie, it's been many years and this is actually the first time EoE has hit theaters in North America, courtesy of GKids.
Evangelion as a whole is an important part of my history as an anime fan, culminating in the Shin Evangelion movie. But two decades ago, End of Evangelion was one of those works that blew away my preconceptions about what animation could do. The emotional turmoil, terrifying sights, and beautiful animation all worked together to leave a lasting impact on my psyche.
It's interesting to rewatch this film in its entirety, now with the context of my own life experiences and where Evangelion has gone since then.
Evangelion's ending is a kind of alternate version of the last two episodes of the TV series. Instead of taking place entirely in an abstract world that includes the collective minds and souls of its characters, everything is based more in the physical world. After NERV defeated the Last Angel, its secret parent organization SEELE betrayed NERV, and the ensuing carnage caused its already damaged heroes to fall even further.
Ikari Shinji has long been the poster child for angst-ridden teenage protagonists. , and here it's easy to see why he can be both a highly relatable character and an endless source of annoyance for viewers. When those who stood by him and those close to him were literally shot dead in cold blood, Shinji was unable to act. It made me want to scream, “Get out of your own head, damn it!” And that teaching more or less happens right in the movie itself. But Shinji's perspective is also a relatable one: He's made mistakes so many times that he thinks doing nothing is better than trying his best and will inevitably make things worse. When you only see yourself as the source of failure and disappointment, it is difficult to move forward even one step.
But when Rei begins the Third Impact, the apocalyptic event intended to bind everyone's souls together and reform humanity as the single entity it began with, Shinji does something surprising: He reject this future, which seems to solve all his problems with human connection. It turns out that Shinji is not satisfied with the happiness given to him, even if it is a realm of absolute happiness. He wants to achieve self-worth by going out and finding it for himself. The process itself and the authenticity of success are paramount. It's not really about suffering, it's like telling someone who's trying to grow a flower (and is absolutely terrible at gardening) that you can buy them a whole field of flowers that will be taken care of by the gardeners. The world's best botanists take care of…
The ending scene is one of many that has long generated much discourse, and thinking about it from the perspective of dream versus reality made me reconsider its ending. After the Third Impact (or at least the attempt at it), Shinji finds himself alone with Asuka. Seeing her lying on her stomach, Shinji begins to strangle her, repeating the previous “action” he performed when mentally confronting how he tried his best to avoid loneliness. But to his surprise, Asuka's hand gently touched his face, and this made Shinji let go. Then Asuka said, “Disgusting.”
I see Shinji's actions as suggesting he suspects he escaped the dream-like Third Impact, only to be eliminated by Asuka which is very different from what he saw in his own mind. Compassion and contempt are both there, beauty and ugliness are mixed together. Reality is where the dreams end, but it is also driven by the dreams themselves. It's a topsy-turvy world where Shinji can once again try to make a real connection, even if they are the last two people on Earth.
To me, the fundamental difference between End of Evangelion and Shin Evangelion has to do with their relationship to depression. EoE is what you get when you get caught up in it and are trying to give hope that there will be a way out. Shin Evangelion is the result of someone who overcame that depression and can tell you the other side is real.
I'm so happy that Anno has found her light.